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Beware the Lovebird
by Simon
A man found out that his girlfriend was cheating from his pet parrot. The African grey parrot kept squawking "I love you, Gary" as his owner, Chris Taylor, sat with girlfriend Suzy Collins on the sofa of their shared flat in Leeds, northern England. But when Taylor saw Collins's embarrassed reaction, he realized she had been having an affair -- meeting her lover in the flat whilst Ziggy looked on, the UK's Press Association reported. When I was in junior high I used to often go to this one friend's house, and his family had a Moluccan Cockatoo named Peaches. Peaches was insane: She once nearly pierced my earlobe, and on another occassion chased me up a flight of stairs(at the top of which was a room with a door, which I was able to close in time)- on foot.
The bird would talk and scream all the time. She would usually say "Hello Peaches," but she had "shut up" and "fuck you" in her vocabulary as well, and she said these things to me on occassion when telling her not to do something, like turn the faucet on("fuck you" was the reply that time.)
But craziest of all was just how talented she was at repetition. My friend's parents were hot-blooded South Americans, and would occassionally have really loud fights, in Spanish(they were very comfortable around me.) Anyway, invariably, I would hear Peaches repeat the whole fight a few hours later. Well, she at least got the loud parts down pat, with perfect pronunciation, personal vocal nuance and emotion.
The point is, don't fuck with talking birds.
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