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The Idiocy is Astounding
by Simon
So this has nothing to do with Iraq planning, nothing that remotely looks like monday morning quarterbacking. Evidently our government had posted untranslated, arabic documents seized from the former Iraqi government, some related to nuclear technology, on various public military websites. They were just recently taken down. But that doesn't excuse the indiscretion. It was absent of the most basic common sense. If documents in english have to go through censoring before they're declassified, why the hell would you make public something that isn't even translated???
You know, as far as the man personally goes, I try to give the president the benefit of the doubt as much as I can. I've previously assumed that he wasn't necessarily an idiot, just not fit for office. I used to think that I might not have fared better given his position. But this changes everything. Here's my official statement of intent:
I WOULD MAKE A BETTER PRESIDENT THAN GEORGE BUSH, AND THEREFORE RETROACTIVELY AM RUNNING FOR HIS OFFICE, EFFECTIVE 1/20/2005. IF ELECTED, I HEREBY PROMISE NOT TO DECLASSIFY ANY SECURITY RELATED DOCUMENTS THAT HAVE NOT BEEN TRANSLATED. I PROMISE NOT TO MOCK MY OWN DANGEROUS AND FAILED DECISIONS. IF I DECIDE TO INVADE CRAWFORD, TEXAS FOR SUSPICION OF DANGEROUSLY HIGH LEVELS OF METHANE, FIND NONE, BUT INADVERTENTLY ALLOW A CIVIL WAR TO ERUPT AMONG COWS, HORSES AND MILLIONAIRES, I WILL NOT PLAYFULLY SAY "THAT METHANE'S GOTTA BE SOMEWHERE....HMMM, NOT THERE.....OR THERE EITHER" AT A SWANKY DINNER. FINALLY, AS THE PRELUDE TO MY EDUCATION REFORM, I PLEDGE NOT TO INTENTIONALLY AND REPEATEDLY MISPRONOUNCE "NUCLEAR," EVEN IF IT ENDEARS ME TO THOSE WHO AREN'T EDUCATED ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT THE WORD'S SPELLING LEAVE VERY LITTLE ROOM FOR PHONETIC VARIATION.
Vote for me. I promise not to screw up the really easy stuff.
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